Shaping a New Identity

1/4 Dinner with Carmen tonight. How I pray that she understands how her life will become much tougher and less secure once she is divorced. I wish Manju would quit showering her with gifts and meals, so she is not thrown into it without some warning of what is to come. Supposedly their therapy session next week will be to fill out the divorce papers online. 1/5 I realized this afternoon after a brisk 10 minite walk at work that I felt a bit less stressed. Not necessarily from the walk. Something else. It is my new assistant at work. We had a meeting earlier and she said she was going to reorganize our digital files. I realize I no longer have the thought of unorganized files just sitting unorganized that caused so much stress. I called her and told her how much I appreciate her help. 1/8 More major info gathering to prep for switch to IIFM 2.0 seemed overwhelming, but sounded better as I went over more instructions. I will start entering info tm. 1/9 I recieved a call from a stake cler...

3/23  Slc to Honolulu. Arrived at 2:30 Hawaii time; our 6:30. We went bed at 8:30; SLC time of 12:30. I got up at 4:30. From airport, went west to  We had joked on the plane about having Malasadas for dinner. Malasadas at Leonards truck.  Spring rolls and garlic shrimp from Thong Thai truck.  Banana Republic outlet looked promising but did not produce any great deals that fir right. Drove through Koolina shopping across from Aulani. Walked around Aulani. Went to Farmers Market that was going on there. Lauren found handmade Harry Potter themed backpack for Avalon for her birthday. I bought local honey w a molasses taste for Lauren s sore throat. And a bowl cozy for Roberta. Drove back west and north towards Laie.  Downloaded the Gypsy travel app we had used in October 2019 when I came w Lauren,  her family and Roberta.  Drove by Buddist Temple, "Chinaman s hat", beautiful waves even far off the beach shores.  I asked Lauren about the lo...

Adrienne brought Heinrich to my apt to work . Her mother in law. Is on a cruise so Lauren came to the apt too to watch H while Adrienne worked. It was so gratifying to have them here, feeling comfortable in my home. I thought if how afraid I was when I was with Kevin during the last couple of years. I was afraid of not ever having children and grandchildren feel comfortable in our home because of him. I feel so blessed.

when you feel someone is insulting you or leaving you out, simulate similar brain networks to those that are triggered when your primary survival needs are threatened. This activates your limbic system, “which houses our emotional reactions.” This seeks to minimise the perceived threat “by avoiding a person or situation, or by attacking back.” person angry, holding head in hands This, unfortunately, is an unconscious reaction, and one that is fairly easily triggered as Rozenthuler says that your limbic system “is more tuned to threats than rewards.” As a result, your ability to respond rationally or fairly is inhibited, making it all the more likely you will say or do something you regret. But there are ways to ensure you don’t let confrontation get the better of you, and acknowledging the stressors that trigger that threat response is one of them. According to David Rock of the NeuroLeadership Institute, there are five “key social threats that act as potential stressors”. These in...

After last week’s message about the effectiveness of a new bishop visiting every home in the ward, I received mixed feedback. One email said… “Worst advice to a new bishop ever.” This short and simple reply made me wonder… Was my advice really the “worst advice to a new bishop ever?” I admit, it maybe wasn’t the best advice ever but it’s definitely not the worst. What would be the worst advice to a new leader ever? From a Leading Saints email on  7/5/2022 That’s easy. The worst leadership advice ever would be… “Be unintentional about everything you do.” Sure, attempting to visit every home in the ward as a new bishop might not be the best move, but at least it is an intentional move. The birth of awful leadership happens with every unintentional step a leader takes. Unintentionally doing what the last leader did. Unintentionally allowing the loudest administrative task to dominate your attention. Unintentionally assuming yo...

  “I should like to suggest three standards by which to judge each of the decisions that determine the behavior patterns of your lives. . . . They are:  1. Does it enrich the mind?  2. Does it discipline and strengthen the body?  3. Does it nourish the spirit?” —Gordon B Hinkley     Nourish Your Mind Learn something new . Delve into new subjects in simple ways—watch a TED talk or documentary, start a book you’ve been meaning to read, or explore your creative side. Quiet your mind . Manage stress with calming activities, such as meditation, yoga, and disconnecting from technology. Or enjoy hobbies that help you find focus—knitting, baking, reading, drawing, or getting some fresh air. Nourish Your Body Be active . All activity counts—anyplace, any time! Choose something you enjoy, such as hiking with family, dancing in the kitchen, or stretching in between meetings. Eat better . Eat more co...